Sitting Duck...36 Weeks.

Oh Parker,

I hope you understand how much your mommy and daddy love you. You may have not gotten weekly bump-dates, bump pictures, framed ultrasounds like your sister but you sweet boy are so loved just the same.

I roll out of bed sometime between the minute your dad's alarm goes off and your sister is jabbering away over the monitor. After not a lot of sleep and multiple potty trips during the night I greet C-monkey with a warranted diaper change, with MUCH protest from her, and head downstairs. You may or may not feel the abuse during these diaper changes and she kicks you, a lot. I'm sorry. We make daddy breakfast and sit with him as your sister follows him saying bite bite. I drink my cranberry juice (thank you UTIs) and you decide to wake up. We walk daddy to the door and wave bye bye a million times and then console your sister's meltdown because daddy has left and you hear the all to familiar theme song of Sofia The First as mommy tries to make her and C breakfast without a growth attached to my leg. You get pop tarts, cereal, or a bagel (mommy gets something too I suppose) but "I bite I bite" gets some too as her oatmeal and banana just aren't enough. Facetime with Granna report that you haven't made your arrival yet and to ensure her and pop are doing well. Then, we all waddle upstairs after breakfast for some playtime in the playroom while momma gets laundry started, makes up the bed, and wipes down the bathroom counters--hello nesting--. Mommy is awfully ambitious in the mornings because most of the time she feels her best during these hours. Caroline and I shower because showering alone is overrated or I run the risk of freezing or burning us as sissy loves flushing the toilet. After fighting your sister who has now laid face down on the shower floor refusing to get out we both get dressed for the day---maternity leggings and daddy's long sleeve shirts for this momma unless we manage to make plans and get out--. Hair drying is a fun time, you love it already and jab mommy frequently and your sister likes to help momma and brush my hair and blow dry it. I love little moments like this. We then play some more upstairs and then head downstairs for a cereal bar snack or gaga as your sister calls it and then she asks for LET GO so we watch the five minute music video a couple of times. If it's warm enough we head outside outside for winging and siding and running for the hour or so before lunch. This is also when we run any errands or head to Winston to see daddy.

It's then lunch time and your sister becomes HAPPPPPPY she loves food. We'll have to feed hidden as I have a feeling she'll want a bite too. No, no thank you toddler with sharp teeth. We normally get to eat lunch with your sister and it's typically leftovers or a sandwich. Counting down the days to a deli sandwich, not warmed up! You start moving around again as I'm pretty sure you're grateful I'm sitting and eating. We then head upstairs and pray your sister decides to have mercy on momma and not fight me tooth and nail to take a nap. After 30-40 minutes of fighting it she eventually gives in and mommy uses this time for sanity collecting. Let's be real I try really hard to use this time to be productive but sometimes I end up napping and watching old episodes of favorite shows. It happens and my body needs it. In the occasion that I am productive it's remembering to switch the laundry, working on assignments, or cleaning something. I'm always cleaning. This is also when you tend to be your most quiet, maybe you and your sister will be magically on the same napping schedule. Ehhh probably not but that's ok!

Easter weekend the past three years. 

Before momma knows it I hear my name being loudly shouted over the monitor with occasional da-da's, nanas, pap's, pop's etc. Another battled diaper change and we head downstairs for afternoon snack. Depending upon how long your sister sleeps 2 1/2-3 hours usually daddy normally gets home shortly after. It's your sister's favorite time of the day hands down as we run to the window and wave frantically and the run to the door he'll come through. I'm pretty sure she melts daddy's heart when she takes off running and I know you will too. We then either go for a walk or play outside until it's time for dinner to get made. This is what we calling bewitching hour between 5-6 especially if we can't be outside. Sister goes into complete meltdown mode as mommy is cooking dinner and lays on the kitchen mat by her feet. It is terrible, we're preparing you now. We eat dinner, have a dance party, put up C's toys, and then depending on the night daddy gives your sister a bath as we just can't bend over that way right now. Daddy and I alternate nights with C of story and bed and the other plops on the bed until we both head downstairs for kitchen clean up. This is when daddy and mommy hang out--you'll be joining in soon-- and catch up on shows or watch a sporting event of some sort. Although you do join in already this is normally when my tummy turns into an alien belly and daddy can watch you roll all around.  Then its time head to bed and the whole production begins.  Mommy has to set up her pillows, pee, rearrange, pillows, pee, brush her teeth, pee, rearrange pillows, FINALLY gets comfortable but alas, pee again. Mommy sleeps ok for the most part just multiple potty trips and tossing and turning.

As of our appointment on Friday, you won't be making your appearance anytime soon it seems. Despite some pretty wicked contractions at night they've made no progress in the dilation business which is fine. I'm learning peace in the anxious of the waiting. I'll be considered full term in 6 days but the longer you cook the better Mr. However, Dr. Lowe did say if I were to naturally go into labor between now and Sunday they wouldn't stop me that you're developed, measuring a week ahead, and also still HEAD DOWN thank you Lord! We continue to pray over you each day for a safe delivery,  healthy baby, and healthy mommy when delivery time does come. We're preparing as best as we can. We have your nursery done (for the most part), bouncy seat, swing, and rock-n-play ready to go. Your hospital bag is packed and mommy will be working on hers and daddy's this afternoon. We also have some fun things planned for your sister as we adjust to being a family of four. Sweet boy you're going to be the best addition to our family and we cannot wait for you to join in on the craziness.

All of this to say, I may not know what size vegetable you are this week, or what is currently developing but we do know this...you are SO LOVED precious boy. I've been super emotional lately thinking about how the time where it is just me and you are quickly coming to an end. I'll miss your kicks, your constant hiccups, and how you always poke your butt out when I put my hand on my belly. I love being pregnant most days and we are already sharing such a special bond already. I guess it's time we let other people get in on that bond too. Who knows when you'll make your arrival...it could be tomorrow it could be three weeks from now. But until then momma will soak up every last bit of this pregnancy no matter how uncomfortable it may be and pray to find peace in the waiting!

Love, 

Momma

We've been blessed with the best support system! Thank you to all who have showered us with your love! 

She really does love you, I promise! 

18 Months Old!

Caroline Vance,

You are so much fun right now. You've always been fun but this age has been my favorite so far. Generally, you're a happy toddler. The only time you're not happy is if you're hangry which is totally a thing because if we miss a meal time by 10 minutes full blown meltdown ensues. Everyone loves you and it's an all out brawl when we're around any family as to who gets to play with you. You're not much of a snuggler which breaks momma's heart but I love watching your independence. You're the most curious little booger and ask "what's that" all. the. time. I overheard you and daddy talking one afternoon and you asked him what the air compressor was. He almost went into a lengthy detailed explanation before he realized you were more interested in the buttons. Mommy got a good laugh out of that one. We love you so much precious girl and love watching you grow grow grow!

Caroline's Food Favorites:

-Mac and Cheese

-Veggie burgers

-Fruit

-Pancakes

-Eggs

-Hot Dogs

-Spaghetti 

-Lima beans

-Carrots

-BREAD---you little carb-o-holic. 

Favorites:

-OUTSIDE also known as side side side. You look out the backdoor and beg to go side even if it's pouring down rain

-Swing--wing wing--we have learned to spell this word because if we don't go immediately to do so, you guessed it meltdown. 

-Sofia the First. You are obsessed. I know no screen time until 2 but when momma's real pregnant sometimes it's sanity people and sanity is important. 

-LET GO LET GO---Frozen. We watched this on a snow day a couple of months ago and you are constantly asking for let go, luckily we can occasionally get away with just playing the song instead of watching the same scene on repeat. You spin and twirl with your arms out wide. It's pretty dern cute. 

Stats:

Weight-24lbs 68%

Height-31 inches 40%

Never in a million years did we ever think to see the day you were in the 68th percentile for weight. Those first few months we were lucky to get above the 5th percentile. You are growing so fast big girl! 

Mommy sucked at using her big girl camera the past few months aka it sat in the drawer collecting dust. I vow to do better during spring and summer. 

The next few weeks are going to be interesting baby girl. You're about to be a big sister. We can't wait to add your baby brother to the mix, but mommy is feeling a little bittersweet about you no longer our only baby. But more thoughts on that later. We love you sweet girl and can't believe your getting closer and closer to TWO!

Mommy and Daddy

SURPRISE! Baby bean #2 May 2016.

It has been a whirlwind of the past two months. Absolute whirlwind is the only way to explain it.

The Thursday before labor day I was doing my work out and I got dizzy and puked. Which was unusual for me. My cycle had been whack ever since we quit breastfeeding so I decided to take a pregnancy test expecting the result I got a big negative. Which later I would realize it was in fact a positive, hello super faint line. We headed to Hickory for the Labor Day weekend and I didn't think anymore of it. If it had been lining up with my last cycle I was due to start on Labor Day. I decided to go ahead and call the doctor Tuesday morning just to see if this was normal. The nurse encouraged me to take another pregnancy test although we both expected a negative. C and I ran out and got two boxes of pregnancy tests and I called Derik while I peed on the stick holy positive pregnancy test. I'm not going to lie I began to hyperventilate we had talked about starting to try again maybe this time next year when C turned two. We were actively not trying. You would think we would have learned the first go around that it is not in our control and His plans are always much greater than our own. We went to the doctor for blood test confirmation and sure enough with super high HCG levels I was pregnant. We called and shocked both sets of grandparents and explained that we were probably more shocked than they were. The following week we went in for an ultrasound to see how far along we were and we saw a teeny tiny tad pole on the screen. Talk about love at first sight. The shock had worn off and we were immediately captivated by this precious bean growing inside of me.

How have I felt?
First Trimester:
Exhausted and sick. Seriously bed time sometimes is before 8pm and I've napped during C's nap time she's watched too much Mickey and Sofia the past few weeks. Bless my sweet husband he's been so patient. The house has stayed a disaster, I've ran away from the dinner table too many times to count, and again he's eaten his fair share of pasta and bland foods. Praise the Lord for ginger ale and gatorade and 7:30 bed times.

Second Trimester:

Glory my energy and appetite has finally returned (16 weeks) NO more puking.

Now that we're out of the first trimester we can breathe a little easier, so I thought. After our results came back slightly abnormal from our first trimester and higher than normal level for my age for a risk for downs syndrome we decided to do more testing. Not because we would have changed anything about this pregnancy, but we wanted to be prepared. I vividly remember having such a peace about it all and specifically praying to prepare our hearts for any adversity this sweet bean may face. That's the momma bear in me.

Fast forward the longest week and a half later and baby BOY's results can back in within the normal range for our age group. We had the option of finding out the gender with that blood test and I took it and was able to tell Derik that we were having a boy. That is a moment I will never, ever forget.

Our pregnancy progressed normally and at 18 weeks we had our anatomy scan. Two cysts were found on Parker's brain and although they are fairly common our doctor wanted us to do another ultrasound at the the hospital because of the cysts and the previous abnormal blood work. Again, longest two weeks ever until that ultrasound. I again had found such a peace until the appointment reminder call that also said we would be meeting with a genetic counselor. I'm sorry what? Aren't genetic counselors all doom and gloom? We considered cancelling our ultrasound because if anything was wrong it's not like we would do anything about it and let the Lord take control. The two cysts could have been indicators of a more severe chromosomal disorder in which Parker would either miscarry or be stillborn. Again, I had a peace and the devil put worry, doubt, and fear in my mind. From Thursday-Tuesday I walked around with a knot in my stomach feeling as if I could puke at any given time. In my heart I knew this baby boy was fine that nothing was wrong with him I knew it in my heart but the devil was tricking my mind. We arrived to our appointment and my BP was 149/77--nervous much-- I laid in that chair clutching on to Derik for dear life. The tech got her images and the doctor walked in and informed us that we had a completely HEALTHY perfect baby boy. Tears streamed down my face and I couldn't help but praise God right there in that ultrasound room. Talk about a perfect Christmas present as this all went down the week of Christmas.

I've learned so much throughout this pregnancy. My pregnancy with Caroline was pretty much textbook. Each week I would read in my What to Expect book and we were right on track on everything. This one has been completely different, he's thrown me for such a loop. But I'm so grateful for this sweet healthy baby boy growing in my belly.

Throughout this pregnancy the recurring theme has been God's faithfulness. I've doubted Him entirely way too much, questioned Him instead of trusted Him, and even gotten angry with Him. But yet He remained faithful. His grace allows me to doubt, question, and even be angry with Him. His grace and mercy have taught me so very much. His mercy never fails even though I fail Him every. single. day. I'm so grateful for His love!

I hope to instill this in Caroline and Parker. My prayer is that know God in such a real way that they'll learn to lean on Him more than us.

All of this to say we are so excited to welcome Parker Michael in May! He is so loved already, Caroline points to his sonogram and says baby. My heart swoons and I can't wait to see them together. They will never know life without each other and my prayer is that they will look at each other as their built in best friend.

Caroline 15 Months

Caroline, 

As of Christmas day you are now 15 months old, I truly can't believe how fast time is flying. You are learning so much and so quickly. You are also a curious little booger nicer way of say nosey posey! When we're out to dinner your forever joining the table beside, behind us, in front of us, wherever your little head can turn and gawk as daddy calls it. You've also learned some not so cool tricks ie. unplugging everything. Child seriously you're going to electrocute yourself. Mommy has resulted to pushing furniture in front of outlets just to keep you from unplugging things. Also, when you're really really mad or something scares you, you do this awful thing. You start to cry so hard, quit breathing and sometimes pass out. It TERRIFIES us, like I'm still shaken up after you've come to and are calmed down. It's happened 3 or 4 times and each time you cry now I hold my breath in fear that you'll do it. The doctor says it's completely normal and you don't understand what you're doing but still freaks. momma and daddy. out. No matter what, we love you our precious one! You're such a gift and we praise God for you!

Mommy and Daddy

15 Month Stats:

-Weight: 21.7lbs jumped to the 58% woo hoo!
-Height: 30 Inches-48% again you were at 18%at your 12 month appointment, can we say growth spurt.
-Head: 46 1/2 cm 75% daddy says it's because you have his big brains...

With your Great-Great Grandmother who will be 103 next month, pretty incredible!

Months 12-14 Highlights:

• You were absolutely toothless until 13 months, now you have more than you allow me to count. We know your middle two on top and middle two on bottom and maybe a molar?
• You are busy. Busy. Busy. Busy. I can't turn my back for a second and if I do a lamp is unplugged, the strainer is pulled out, kitchen towels are everywhere. You keep mommy very busy during the day, but I wouldn't trade it for the world! I'm so thankful I get to stay home with you. 
• You managed to lock yourself in mommy's new car on our way to Christmas card pictures yes mommy had a massive panic attack. Thank goodness we have quick hands when you pushed that unlock button. 
• Celebrated your second Thanksgiving in Hickory and then the weekend after in Williamsburg, VA. 
• You've moved onto Princess Sofia you still love the mouse but you'll actually sit and watch almost an entire episode of Sofia, sometimes on mommy's lap.--Heaven--. 
• Giving love to everything and being a good mommy to anything you can hold. Your paci, oven mit, the Santa ornament. You bring it to your chest and pat it's back, sweetest thing ever. 
• You love "tickling" people. Also known as you squealing before you can touch them to "tickle" them. 
• Counting to 3...which is really 1-2-WEEEEEEE! 
• Animal Sounds-duck, cow, lion, dog, pig, elephant, cat, and monkey are your favorites. 
• Dancing machine, we often have Disney pandora dance parties or simply dance to one of your musical toys. 
• Night-Night GOOD MORNING game. 
• You LOVE the Wheels on the Bus and the hand motions to go with it. 
• Words:
• Kendall
• Jakey
• Nana
• Ganna
• Jaaack
• Mac and Cheese
• HOORAY!
• Dofia- Sofia

Not so pleasant moments:
-The bewitching hour aka 5:30 until dinner. Sometimes I can't make dinner without you attached to my legs crying to be held. I've mastered one handed cooking for the most part.
-When you only want mommy and hurt daddy's feelings :(
-Bible study. We go to a Mom's Bible study every other Thursday and you hate mommy leaving you, bless the sweet fabulous nursery workers. They know I need a break and only text me if the absolutely have to.
-When you get so mad and quit breathing (see above). 

We love you our sweet wonderful girl!

Our One Year Old...

Our dear sweet girl,

As of 2:08pm today you'll officially be one. I'm not sure where this entire year has gone. You're a perfect gift from heaven our dear girl. When I say I PRAISE God for you I verbally thank Him for you each and everyday. Your bring us so much joy! Even when you wake us up in the middle of the night we still find the joy. This year has been challenging and yet so very rewarding. We've learned so much about you, about each other, and us as parents. Each day you greet us with the biggest smile and giggles. Your joy is contagious and we've been so blessed to have such a happy baby girl.Your daddy and I have such hopes and dreams for you and we hope you know that those hopes and dreams will always been in your reach.

Thank you for making my dreams come true and making me a mommy. I may not be the perfect mommy but I certainly try to give you the best of me each and everyday. We are so thankful for you baby girl and love you with all of our hearts!

Looking Back at Your First Year

Birth Story

Newborn Session

First Christmas

On Being a Mommy

First Easter

Baby Dedication

Busy Summer!

We love you so much sweet girl, we couldn't be more grateful for you sweet disposition, open mouth kisses, and all the love you give! 

Mommy and Daddy

Caroline's Baby Dedication/First Mother's Day!

"Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it". Proverbs 22:6

This past Sunday--Mother's Day--also happened to be Caroline's baby dedication day! We decided to have our home dedicated at my church that I grew up in. We believe that it is the child's decision to accept salvation and declare that profession of faith publicly by baptism when she decides. This was more a charge to us the parents that we will raise Caroline in a Christian home and lead her to the Lord.

Of course, 2 minutes before we were called to the front she spit up on her dress, isn't that how it always goes? So back on the bib went and we left it there for the remainder of the service. She was mesmerized by the pastors mustache and glasses.

After dedication mom and dad hosted a lunch at their house for our sweet families that were apart of her special day! My first mommy's day is one I will never forget!

Caroline Vance 11 Months Old

Next month you'll be one. Mommy and daddy can't talk about it much less think about it. We cannot believe how fast this year has gone by! This month you were busy busy. You crawl so incredibly fast no one can keep up with you. We sit you down and woosh you're gone. Normally to the dog's bowls (still) the stairs, or the 1/2 bath to pull everything out of the trashcan---gross but real life---or to pull all of the toilet paper off of the roll. We call you Captain Destructo, we were at Granna and Pop Pop's for all of 30 minute the other week before you had all the books of the shelves and the DVD's off the rack. Our house looks like a tornado ran through it on a daily basis, not sure why I even bother cleaning up. Mommy doesn't mind thought my OCD is learning to take a back seat and just roll with it. You decided to stand in the seat part of the shopping cart at Target. Yeah, there's that. We will never go without your shopping cart cover again.

You're the absolute sweetest thing ever. We tell you to give love and you lay your head down on our chest/shoulder. You do it to Kendall too--she's not impressed--. We are SPOILED by you. You rarely cry, you sleep all night an off night here and there. You normally take two good naps during the day except as of late your morning nap has been being all of 15 minutes.

We spent a week at the beach with the WooBaWa's! The Woods, Auntie Bay, and Nana and Pap, Aunt MeMe, Kinley, Uncle Josh, Aunite Bina, Jack, and Sam. It was a lot of people but so very much fun. You enjoyed crawling ALL over the beach and had absolutely zero fear of the ocean. After returning home from our week at the beach we celebrate Pop Pop's 70th birthday! He was truly surprised and enjoyed showing you off to everyone.

We've been working on self feeding this month you're getting the hang of it and enjoying feeding yourself your peas, chunks of sweet potato, banana, butternut squash, green beans, mango, and the list goes on. You also enjoyed part of your first Biscuitville biscuit.

Highlights:

-Weight--Guessing 18-19 pounds?
-Size 3 diapers
-9-12 month clothing, some 6-9 fits especially if it's Old Navy
-Saying: Hey (all the time) Bye Bye, Thank You, Doggggg--pointing to Kendall, Saying moo when asked what does the cow say? And finally ladies and gentlemen she has MA-MA.
-Standing, cruising, and sometimes if you're real brave you'll take a half step towards the Cheerios.
-Down to about 20 oz of Earth's Best Organic Formula.
-Eating everything! You love yogurt, turkey, peas, sweet potatoes, squash, green beans. We're slowly transitioning away from the puree's!
-You've claimed a favorite toy, we don't leave the house without Minnie Mouse. You love Minnie.

We're also not talking about what happens next month. I can't even think about you being you know what.

We love you sweet girl, but Jesus loves you more!