SURPRISE! Baby bean #2 May 2016.

It has been a whirlwind of the past two months. Absolute whirlwind is the only way to explain it.

The Thursday before labor day I was doing my work out and I got dizzy and puked. Which was unusual for me. My cycle had been whack ever since we quit breastfeeding so I decided to take a pregnancy test expecting the result I got a big negative. Which later I would realize it was in fact a positive, hello super faint line. We headed to Hickory for the Labor Day weekend and I didn't think anymore of it. If it had been lining up with my last cycle I was due to start on Labor Day. I decided to go ahead and call the doctor Tuesday morning just to see if this was normal. The nurse encouraged me to take another pregnancy test although we both expected a negative. C and I ran out and got two boxes of pregnancy tests and I called Derik while I peed on the stick holy positive pregnancy test. I'm not going to lie I began to hyperventilate we had talked about starting to try again maybe this time next year when C turned two. We were actively not trying. You would think we would have learned the first go around that it is not in our control and His plans are always much greater than our own. We went to the doctor for blood test confirmation and sure enough with super high HCG levels I was pregnant. We called and shocked both sets of grandparents and explained that we were probably more shocked than they were. The following week we went in for an ultrasound to see how far along we were and we saw a teeny tiny tad pole on the screen. Talk about love at first sight. The shock had worn off and we were immediately captivated by this precious bean growing inside of me.

How have I felt?
First Trimester:
Exhausted and sick. Seriously bed time sometimes is before 8pm and I've napped during C's nap time she's watched too much Mickey and Sofia the past few weeks. Bless my sweet husband he's been so patient. The house has stayed a disaster, I've ran away from the dinner table too many times to count, and again he's eaten his fair share of pasta and bland foods. Praise the Lord for ginger ale and gatorade and 7:30 bed times.

Second Trimester:

Glory my energy and appetite has finally returned (16 weeks) NO more puking.

Now that we're out of the first trimester we can breathe a little easier, so I thought. After our results came back slightly abnormal from our first trimester and higher than normal level for my age for a risk for downs syndrome we decided to do more testing. Not because we would have changed anything about this pregnancy, but we wanted to be prepared. I vividly remember having such a peace about it all and specifically praying to prepare our hearts for any adversity this sweet bean may face. That's the momma bear in me.

Fast forward the longest week and a half later and baby BOY's results can back in within the normal range for our age group. We had the option of finding out the gender with that blood test and I took it and was able to tell Derik that we were having a boy. That is a moment I will never, ever forget.

Our pregnancy progressed normally and at 18 weeks we had our anatomy scan. Two cysts were found on Parker's brain and although they are fairly common our doctor wanted us to do another ultrasound at the the hospital because of the cysts and the previous abnormal blood work. Again, longest two weeks ever until that ultrasound. I again had found such a peace until the appointment reminder call that also said we would be meeting with a genetic counselor. I'm sorry what? Aren't genetic counselors all doom and gloom? We considered cancelling our ultrasound because if anything was wrong it's not like we would do anything about it and let the Lord take control. The two cysts could have been indicators of a more severe chromosomal disorder in which Parker would either miscarry or be stillborn. Again, I had a peace and the devil put worry, doubt, and fear in my mind. From Thursday-Tuesday I walked around with a knot in my stomach feeling as if I could puke at any given time. In my heart I knew this baby boy was fine that nothing was wrong with him I knew it in my heart but the devil was tricking my mind. We arrived to our appointment and my BP was 149/77--nervous much-- I laid in that chair clutching on to Derik for dear life. The tech got her images and the doctor walked in and informed us that we had a completely HEALTHY perfect baby boy. Tears streamed down my face and I couldn't help but praise God right there in that ultrasound room. Talk about a perfect Christmas present as this all went down the week of Christmas.

I've learned so much throughout this pregnancy. My pregnancy with Caroline was pretty much textbook. Each week I would read in my What to Expect book and we were right on track on everything. This one has been completely different, he's thrown me for such a loop. But I'm so grateful for this sweet healthy baby boy growing in my belly.

Throughout this pregnancy the recurring theme has been God's faithfulness. I've doubted Him entirely way too much, questioned Him instead of trusted Him, and even gotten angry with Him. But yet He remained faithful. His grace allows me to doubt, question, and even be angry with Him. His grace and mercy have taught me so very much. His mercy never fails even though I fail Him every. single. day. I'm so grateful for His love!

I hope to instill this in Caroline and Parker. My prayer is that know God in such a real way that they'll learn to lean on Him more than us.

All of this to say we are so excited to welcome Parker Michael in May! He is so loved already, Caroline points to his sonogram and says baby. My heart swoons and I can't wait to see them together. They will never know life without each other and my prayer is that they will look at each other as their built in best friend.

Caroline 15 Months

Caroline, 

As of Christmas day you are now 15 months old, I truly can't believe how fast time is flying. You are learning so much and so quickly. You are also a curious little booger nicer way of say nosey posey! When we're out to dinner your forever joining the table beside, behind us, in front of us, wherever your little head can turn and gawk as daddy calls it. You've also learned some not so cool tricks ie. unplugging everything. Child seriously you're going to electrocute yourself. Mommy has resulted to pushing furniture in front of outlets just to keep you from unplugging things. Also, when you're really really mad or something scares you, you do this awful thing. You start to cry so hard, quit breathing and sometimes pass out. It TERRIFIES us, like I'm still shaken up after you've come to and are calmed down. It's happened 3 or 4 times and each time you cry now I hold my breath in fear that you'll do it. The doctor says it's completely normal and you don't understand what you're doing but still freaks. momma and daddy. out. No matter what, we love you our precious one! You're such a gift and we praise God for you!

Mommy and Daddy

15 Month Stats:

-Weight: 21.7lbs jumped to the 58% woo hoo!
-Height: 30 Inches-48% again you were at 18%at your 12 month appointment, can we say growth spurt.
-Head: 46 1/2 cm 75% daddy says it's because you have his big brains...

With your Great-Great Grandmother who will be 103 next month, pretty incredible!

Months 12-14 Highlights:

• You were absolutely toothless until 13 months, now you have more than you allow me to count. We know your middle two on top and middle two on bottom and maybe a molar?
• You are busy. Busy. Busy. Busy. I can't turn my back for a second and if I do a lamp is unplugged, the strainer is pulled out, kitchen towels are everywhere. You keep mommy very busy during the day, but I wouldn't trade it for the world! I'm so thankful I get to stay home with you. 
• You managed to lock yourself in mommy's new car on our way to Christmas card pictures yes mommy had a massive panic attack. Thank goodness we have quick hands when you pushed that unlock button. 
• Celebrated your second Thanksgiving in Hickory and then the weekend after in Williamsburg, VA. 
• You've moved onto Princess Sofia you still love the mouse but you'll actually sit and watch almost an entire episode of Sofia, sometimes on mommy's lap.--Heaven--. 
• Giving love to everything and being a good mommy to anything you can hold. Your paci, oven mit, the Santa ornament. You bring it to your chest and pat it's back, sweetest thing ever. 
• You love "tickling" people. Also known as you squealing before you can touch them to "tickle" them. 
• Counting to 3...which is really 1-2-WEEEEEEE! 
• Animal Sounds-duck, cow, lion, dog, pig, elephant, cat, and monkey are your favorites. 
• Dancing machine, we often have Disney pandora dance parties or simply dance to one of your musical toys. 
• Night-Night GOOD MORNING game. 
• You LOVE the Wheels on the Bus and the hand motions to go with it. 
• Words:
• Kendall
• Jakey
• Nana
• Ganna
• Jaaack
• Mac and Cheese
• HOORAY!
• Dofia- Sofia

Not so pleasant moments:
-The bewitching hour aka 5:30 until dinner. Sometimes I can't make dinner without you attached to my legs crying to be held. I've mastered one handed cooking for the most part.
-When you only want mommy and hurt daddy's feelings :(
-Bible study. We go to a Mom's Bible study every other Thursday and you hate mommy leaving you, bless the sweet fabulous nursery workers. They know I need a break and only text me if the absolutely have to.
-When you get so mad and quit breathing (see above). 

We love you our sweet wonderful girl!

Our One Year Old...

Our dear sweet girl,

As of 2:08pm today you'll officially be one. I'm not sure where this entire year has gone. You're a perfect gift from heaven our dear girl. When I say I PRAISE God for you I verbally thank Him for you each and everyday. Your bring us so much joy! Even when you wake us up in the middle of the night we still find the joy. This year has been challenging and yet so very rewarding. We've learned so much about you, about each other, and us as parents. Each day you greet us with the biggest smile and giggles. Your joy is contagious and we've been so blessed to have such a happy baby girl.Your daddy and I have such hopes and dreams for you and we hope you know that those hopes and dreams will always been in your reach.

Thank you for making my dreams come true and making me a mommy. I may not be the perfect mommy but I certainly try to give you the best of me each and everyday. We are so thankful for you baby girl and love you with all of our hearts!

Looking Back at Your First Year

Birth Story

Newborn Session

First Christmas

On Being a Mommy

First Easter

Baby Dedication

Busy Summer!

We love you so much sweet girl, we couldn't be more grateful for you sweet disposition, open mouth kisses, and all the love you give! 

Mommy and Daddy

Caroline's Baby Dedication/First Mother's Day!

"Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it". Proverbs 22:6

This past Sunday--Mother's Day--also happened to be Caroline's baby dedication day! We decided to have our home dedicated at my church that I grew up in. We believe that it is the child's decision to accept salvation and declare that profession of faith publicly by baptism when she decides. This was more a charge to us the parents that we will raise Caroline in a Christian home and lead her to the Lord.

Of course, 2 minutes before we were called to the front she spit up on her dress, isn't that how it always goes? So back on the bib went and we left it there for the remainder of the service. She was mesmerized by the pastors mustache and glasses.

After dedication mom and dad hosted a lunch at their house for our sweet families that were apart of her special day! My first mommy's day is one I will never forget!

Caroline Vance 11 Months Old

Next month you'll be one. Mommy and daddy can't talk about it much less think about it. We cannot believe how fast this year has gone by! This month you were busy busy. You crawl so incredibly fast no one can keep up with you. We sit you down and woosh you're gone. Normally to the dog's bowls (still) the stairs, or the 1/2 bath to pull everything out of the trashcan---gross but real life---or to pull all of the toilet paper off of the roll. We call you Captain Destructo, we were at Granna and Pop Pop's for all of 30 minute the other week before you had all the books of the shelves and the DVD's off the rack. Our house looks like a tornado ran through it on a daily basis, not sure why I even bother cleaning up. Mommy doesn't mind thought my OCD is learning to take a back seat and just roll with it. You decided to stand in the seat part of the shopping cart at Target. Yeah, there's that. We will never go without your shopping cart cover again.

You're the absolute sweetest thing ever. We tell you to give love and you lay your head down on our chest/shoulder. You do it to Kendall too--she's not impressed--. We are SPOILED by you. You rarely cry, you sleep all night an off night here and there. You normally take two good naps during the day except as of late your morning nap has been being all of 15 minutes.

We spent a week at the beach with the WooBaWa's! The Woods, Auntie Bay, and Nana and Pap, Aunt MeMe, Kinley, Uncle Josh, Aunite Bina, Jack, and Sam. It was a lot of people but so very much fun. You enjoyed crawling ALL over the beach and had absolutely zero fear of the ocean. After returning home from our week at the beach we celebrate Pop Pop's 70th birthday! He was truly surprised and enjoyed showing you off to everyone.

We've been working on self feeding this month you're getting the hang of it and enjoying feeding yourself your peas, chunks of sweet potato, banana, butternut squash, green beans, mango, and the list goes on. You also enjoyed part of your first Biscuitville biscuit.

Highlights:

-Weight--Guessing 18-19 pounds?
-Size 3 diapers
-9-12 month clothing, some 6-9 fits especially if it's Old Navy
-Saying: Hey (all the time) Bye Bye, Thank You, Doggggg--pointing to Kendall, Saying moo when asked what does the cow say? And finally ladies and gentlemen she has MA-MA.
-Standing, cruising, and sometimes if you're real brave you'll take a half step towards the Cheerios.
-Down to about 20 oz of Earth's Best Organic Formula.
-Eating everything! You love yogurt, turkey, peas, sweet potatoes, squash, green beans. We're slowly transitioning away from the puree's!
-You've claimed a favorite toy, we don't leave the house without Minnie Mouse. You love Minnie.

We're also not talking about what happens next month. I can't even think about you being you know what.

We love you sweet girl, but Jesus loves you more!

10 Months Old.

Holy Moly girlfriend, you are now 10 months old. You are so funny and clearly don't even know it. You have your daddy and I cracking up constantly. You're talking now! I can't believe it. Other than Da-Da you are saying HEY, TADA, Bye Bye, and UH-OH! You say hey to your granna each morning over FaceTime it's so cute. You're the sweetest baby and the happiest too! You really only cry when you're tired or frustrated. You're getting into everything these days we don't ever slow down. I leave you to play in the floor full of toys and I look over and you've dumped the dog's food on the floor. True story, happens on pretty regularly around here. Speaking of, you LOVE Kendall, you've been giving her so many hugs lately and it's the sweetest thing. You also gave her a big open mouth kiss and got a mouth full of dog hair, yuck we're working on that. As we snuggled last night I just laid there with you in my arms praising the Lord for your sweet soul. I've said to your daddy too many times how did we get so lucky? You are our biggest blessing and greatest joy little one. Our prayer is that you'll never go a day not knowing how loved and special you are. We couldn't be more grateful that the Lord chose us to be your parents! We love you but Jesus loves you more!

Month 10 Highlights

--Saying hey, bye bye, uh-oh, and TADA. 
--Eating 4 6 oz bottles of Earth's Best Organic formula
--Lots of table food and puree's still
--Feeding yourself cheerios, bananas, and puffs. Mommy needs to put on her brave face and let you do more. 
--Standing by yourself for a few brief seconds at a time
--Found the stairs, hello baby gates.
--You celebrated your first 4th of July!
--You're becoming quite the local celebrity at our Friday morning breakfast spot!
--You weigh 17lbs--I'm guessing, maybe a little more. 
--You're claiming favorite books and toys. 

Newborn size pjs vs 9 month size pjs! 

Mommy started planning your first birthday party this month, twinkle twinkle little star--we sing it every night so it couldn't be more fitting! 

We love you precious wonderful girl!

Thoughts on a Tuesday

Sunday morning our pastor spoke on Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.--I don't know about y'all but sometimes my thoughts aren't exactly excellent or praiseworthy. I really should have been wearing steel toe boots Sunday morning because my toes were getting stepped on a lot. 

As a new mom, I worry about everything. Absolutely everything. About myself not measuring up as a mom, something happening to Caroline, neglecting my relationship with Derik. I can easily think myself into a nervous breakdown. It's happened a few times. So Sunday morning I felt like the pastor was speaking right to me, no one else was in the sanctuary it was just me and the Holy Spirit. It was a one of those moments where I didn't feel that God was SHOUTING at me, but He was speaking to me in His quiet still voice. Your won't ever find peace if your mind and heart isn't with the Lord. I don't believe in coincidence, I believe in purpose. I know I was exactly where I was supposed to be Sunday morning. In the counseling world we have a technique called thought stopping. Thought stopping is labeling your thoughts, giving them a name, and replacing it. I decided Sunday morning that each time I have a negative, stressful thought, I'm going to replace it with Philippians 4:8. 

Since I'm no longer nursing, I'm getting back into a better eating routine and a different work out routine as well---breastfeeding worked it's magic in keeping the baby weight off--. So not only am I going to try to be physically healthy but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually healthy as well. I want Caroline to grow up having the best version of her momma she can. I know some days are going to be harder than others, but here's to making anew and really challenging myself to be the best version of me I can be!